travel lethargy: numb goodbyes and anxious hellos

11 September 2018 London Heathrow Terminal 3 20:13 Travel Diary i left like I had arrived. harried and panicked. going through motions, its hard not to feel like leaving is fragmenting as though losing bits of yourself. but arrival is no better, all you’ve got are the pieces of you that survived. i am sitting…

travelling solo- travelling to yourself

travelling alone makes you brave it gives you moments to discover innate parts of yourself that you might subconciously hide travelling alone, teaches you how to be your own companion how to enjoy stillness it teaches you to be still, even when afraid I have learnt so many beautiful lessons about myself on solo trips….

the good days

let me tell you about the good days   on the good days, it feels as though my skin were tingling my feet dance I catch glimpses of myself in reflections, and I’m smiling I’m happy and love the images reflected back at me.   on the good days, I rejoice in the softness that…

-the elusive healing power of vitamin d

I was waiting for the sun they said it would heal they wrote it on prescription pads over and over again so i dreamt of the sun, i, a cynic prayed for the light i wrote many poems hoping to coax her out of her hiding when like a queen striding out to meet her…

waking up to myself

I am here waking up to myself. It is as if I came from a long slumber, where who I was, who I became, was predetermined by the circumstances of my life the pain caused to me and the forced moulding of white-supremacist education. In that slumber, there were moments of joy and laughter, it…

-dear diary

all I used to have were unfinished thoughts dear diary… fragmented parts of myself, that stopped writing at the fear of being uncovered. having your privacy violated, particularly when it is your innermost thoughts, makes you lose trust. not only in those around you but even in yourself- how can you trust the words not…

-peace studies

I am a scholar of peace. I have written¬† the essays on conflict, peace, and security. I have defined peace debated it, and deconstructed it many times. so arguably, I know a lot about peace.   not really.   I have found the peace I have studied lacking in answers. just more questions and ceaseless…

A Lament of the Growing Futility of our Rage

our anger has no ability to destabilise they have grown accustomed to our anger.   our anger is their profit deliberately deliberately they anger us the more we scream cry destroy ourselves the more they line their pockets ¬†thicken and bulge with the acidity of our anger our anger is so profitable they now sell…